#41🐬 Core PM Skills - What is to be a Product Manager with ADHD? (Amplifying Others)

How to see the best in yourself the same way you see the best in others.

Welcome to Tech Atypically 👋, your weekly blog that explores ADHD, product management, and the complexities of a neurodiverse life. In each issue, I help you navigate the challenges of ADHD and being in the tech industry.

Part 18 of the Book of ADHD Product Management, a guide to navigating the basic principles of product management and ADHD.

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This is part 5 of “What is a product manager with ADHD”. Check out part 1, part 2, part 3, part 4.

4 aspects of a great PM

1. Be a multiplier to your stakeholders (amplifying others)

2. Navigate the unknown

3. Write, present, talk, juggle, de-escalate, whatever needs to be done

4. The first to get blamed, the last to be praised

🌋Takeaways

• PMs need others to succeed. Therefore, it’s imperative that we bring out the best in those we work with.

• You can only strengthen others to the extent of what their abilities allow. A good PM takes the people and ideas and amplifies them beyond the sum of their parts.

• ADHD gift - It’s not about what I can do, but what I want to do.

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A big thank you to The Sages Mages and look for the new website soon.

⭐Introduction

The most important thing a product manager (PM) does is amplify the people around them. They are the glue that fills in the gaps of their partners to get products launched. PMs might lead the strategy and vision of a product, but the execution and evolution of the product are almost always with others.

We need others to succeed. Therefore, it’s imperative that we bring out the best in those we work with.

For a PM with ADHD, this type of need brings me the ultimate high. I get the dopamine and accountability from social interaction. And the satisfaction of building something new. The part I struggle with is believing in myself as much as I believe in others.

That’s the fun dichotomy of being a PM with ADHD. You excel at seeing the best in others but struggle to see yourself in the same way.

This is what good PMs do according to the latest influencers.

🐬The responsibilities that come with ”amplifying others”

First, I want to apologize this PM aspect was written with buzzwords. When I first wrote “Be a multiplier to your stakeholders” it was for a talk on productivity for a product management school. I got caught up trying to sound cool in front of the kids.

Multiplier makes it seem like you can clone yourself to do the job of several people. That somehow you can magically do all the work of the people missing from your team. Product managers “own” the product but they aren’t miracle workers. A good PM can only do so much with an under-resourced team or lack of product-market fit.

I think “amplifying” is a better term because I think it acknowledges that you can only strengthen what is there. You can only strengthen others to the extent of what their abilities allow. A good PM takes the people and ideas and amplifies them beyond the sum of their parts.

As a PM I amplified our team of 1.5 people to support 200,000 users. It wouldn’t have been possible without a great engineer (Hi Anika) and 10s of great business partners (Hi Brandon). We each brought skills the other didn’t have and were able to create something that alone, we would have never been able to do.

Great PMs are the intersection of great partners and great ideas. A great PM with no resources or partners is like a magician performing tricks with no audience.

No one showed up to my product release…

🦚The Gifts of ADHD - Unregulated Confidence

One of my gifts of ADHD is unregulated confidence. I default to high confidence in others but never know what confidence level I’ll have in myself.

I can be the ultimate hype person and cheerleader for others. When I work with a coaching client or product partner, I believe that they can move mountains. I can see all the ways expected and unexpected ways they can succeed. I have no doubt about what they can do and I’m just happy to be there.

When it comes to myself, however, I never know what my confidence will be. My confidence depends on how much I’ve slept, exercised, rested, and medicated. Even when they’ve all aligned, how confident I am can be a coin toss.

What always focuses my confidence into an unstoppable force though, is a good crisis. When things are falling apart and you need someone to fix something, I’m the person to call. The bigger the crisis, the calmer and more confident I am.

It’s a nice gift to have but not one to use every day. Living crisis to crisis is not good for my blood pressure or consistency of work output. I’ve found a way to harness the gift though.

Having a vision or goal of what I want allows me to prioritize my work and create a “crisis”. When I have a goal to work towards, when things come along, it becomes a question of “Do I want to do this?” versus “Can I do this?”.

“Can I?” makes me question my confidence with unpredictable ADHD results.

“Do I want?” engages my crisis powers. Making it a question of prioritization or desire and not confidence. I get a far more emotionally regulated answer to that question.

My ADHD confidence is a gift that helps enable others and myself. However, sometimes I need a reminder that it’s not about what I can do, but what I want to do.

✨Conclusion

Being a product manager with ADHD means you’re never truly alone. As a PM you need people to help build and use your products. As someone with ADHD, you need others to interact with and depend on you. You strive to be needed.

Not the kind of need that is purely from others. Not the needy partner you’ve seen in too many TV troupes.

I’m talking about the kind of need that constantly balances your needs with the needs of those you hold dearest (or just tolerate). Shared needs where everyone is able to bring their best and accomplish the unexpected.

🐼Want to learn more, talk to me.

⏭️Next Week

More PM and ADHD basics.