#38🐃 Core PM Skills - What is to be a Product Manager with ADHD? (Part 2)
The first to get blamed, the last to be praised
Welcome to Tech Atypically 👋, your weekly blog that explores ADHD, product management, and the complexities of a neurodiverse life. In each issue, I help you navigate the challenges of ADHD and being in the tech industry.
Part 13 of the Book of ADHD Product Management, a guide to navigating the basic principles of product management and ADHD.
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If you missed last week’s overview of what I think a product manager and ADHD are, check it out.
A PM has to practice 4 things
Be a multiplier to your stakeholders
Navigate the unknown
Write, present, talk, juggle, de-escalate, whatever needs to be done
The first to get blamed, the last to be praised
🌋Takeaways
Being a PM requires you to synthesize the needs of multiple stakeholders, create a direction and hold firmly to it until it either succeeds, fails, or you come up with a better direction.
ADHD is a gift and a gift is what you make of it. It doesn’t imply a positive or negative connotation like superpower and kryptonite does.
⭐Introduction
As a PM, I’ve often been the first person to blame when things go bad. I’ve heard things like “the product org should have had a better strategy, done more research, be more aligned with engineering, etc”. You name it, I’ve had to absorb it with a smile.
It’s easy to blame to product since it’s often not the org actually building or selling the product. You hand off your product ideas and directions to other teams to “build”.
Then you sit back and do nothing and reap its profit, right?
Nope, your job is to figure out the right questions to ask, the right answers to find and to get the right people to get things built.
You touch everything but own nothing.
You drive direction as much as you can but are constrained by your partners’ capacities.
You’re a product manager.
You’re not just any product manager, you’re one with ADHD
With all the responsibilities and gifts that come with that.
🐃The responsibilities that come with being “The first to get blamed, the last to be praised”
I believe good product managers help enable the best outputs of their partner teams.
They recognize their success, is dependent on their partners’ success. They are humble in accepting that their partners may know more than them and that sometimes their product assumption is incorrect.
They do their best to shield their partners from blame for their incorrect assumptions while still being confident in leading the team to their next goal.
PMs are their partners’ greatest advocates of accomplishments to others and first-line to take the punishment for missteps. You praise everyone else for their accomplishments and take ownership of their failures. To quote Tai Verdes, “I just eat shit and pretend that it's gourmet”.
It’s a good life with ups and downs that get amplified by ADHD.
🦚The Gifts of ADHD
A gift is what you make of it. It doesn’t imply a positive or negative connotation like superpower and kryptonite does.
How people use the same gift will vary from person to person. I like applying this concept to ADHD. You and I may both have ADHD but the gifts we get from it and how we use them differ.
In the case “The first get blamed, the last to be praised”, I use two gifts from ADHD.
It’s much easier to cheer others on than cheer myself on.
My self-doubt disappears when I’m focused on enabling others. I’m drawn to the dopamine I get from helping and advocating for others. Making things external helps me avoid having internal positive beliefs I have about myself.
I’m good at helping with their stuff, but not so great at dealing with my own.
It’s hard for me to think positively about myself so it’s easier for me to have a mindset of me not getting praise and attention.
I’m able to work harder and with less self-doubt if I believe I won’t gain anything from it.
Removing myself from the equation lets me work more confidently because there’s nothing for me to “fail” at.
Removing my ego from certain situations increases my ability to objectively see others’ needs and solutions.
A good PM does advocate for others since they do the building for them.
These two gifts help me be a better product manager at my best and the bane of my life at my lowest. I know I can never completely silence my ADHD behaviors and feelings.
However, I can choose to balance my gifts with what I and my teams need.
✨Conclusion
Product management isn’t a glamorous job most of the time. Yes, you do build products but you’re often dependent on others.
It’s a job that requires you to synthesize the needs of multiple stakeholders, create a direction and hold firmly to it until it either succeeds, fails, or you come up with a better direction.
For someone without ADHD, it can be an emotional and cognitive roller coaster of what to do. For someone with ADHD that turbulence can be multiplied by 100x. So what can you do?
You don’t strive to be perfect. You strive to practice. You strive for the continual practice of knowing you have to be confident for your team or for yourself.
You strive to have the power to know when to put yourself first or last, while still bringing everyone up.
Keep building you ADHD gifted PM.
🐼Want to learn more, talk to me.
⏭️Next Week
What is a PM? Part 2 Write, present, talk, juggle, de-escalate, whatever needs to be done