#44🦋 Core PM Skills - Visual Design and Oversharing
Choosing kindness and honesty to overcome ADHD oversharing in design feedback.
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In each issue, I help you navigate the challenges of ADHD and being in the tech industry.
Part 21 of the Book of ADHD Product Management, a guide to navigating the basic principles of product management and ADHD.
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🌋Takeaways
I explore the gifts of ADHD when it comes to designing a new logo and practicing kindness in the face of ADHD oversharing and anxiety.
I launched a dedicated ADHD coaching website and logo for Tech Atypically.
Oversharing is a common ADHD trait (source).
I overshare, apologize, and repeat.
A solution is kindness.
I practice kindness to myself by choosing to believe that what I feel or think is genuine and worth sharing.
Check out Amy Pedid at the Sage Mages for accessible design services.
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⭐Introduction
I am someone who tends to overshare or say the wrong when working with others, especially designers. Coupled with my background in visual attention research and professional photography I tend to enjoy getting into the details with design projects.
After describing my background to my neighbor who is a senior manager of design, he responded with “Wow, designers must either love or hate you”.
It’s true too. I speak my mind and I know enough about design to say either profoundly helpful or stupid things. I’d like to believe that designers love more than hate me though.
This week I explore the gifts of ADHD when it comes to designing a new logo and practicing kindness in the face of ADHD oversharing and anxiety.
🦋New website, new logo, same uncomfortable honesty
I bring this up because this week I launched a dedicated ADHD coaching website, Instagram, and logo for Tech Atypically. The website and logo represent my decision to focus on ADHD coaching and writing over finding a full-time job.
To create the website and logo I enlisted the services of my friend and designer Amy Pedid at the Sage Mages. Her company focuses on accessible design which I think should be central to an ADHD-related company.
(Soapbox) If you’re going to work in a space of accommodation and accessibility like ADHD, you should strive to make your website digitally accessible. Even if it’s for folks who might not be directly related to your services. Accessibility is inclusion. (End soapbox)
During one of our feedback rounds, I apologized for having so much feedback and requested changes.
Her response was, “Oh you’re just honest”.
That stuck in my head and I didn’t know what to say.
🦋ADHD oversharing
Oversharing is a common ADHD trait (source). I overshare, apologize, and repeat.
For me, it stems from being afraid of saying too much, or too little coupled with a lack of impulse control. It’s built on a foundation of shame and pain from previous experiences where I unintentionally wronged friends or co-workers with oversharing or saying inappropriate things.
As a result, I tend to feel guilty about sharing my true feelings. My default mode is to believe my feelings are inappropriate and I’m one word away from insulting someone enough to earn a mortal enemy.
I sometimes wrestle in agony over what to say and share. It’s amplified in work meetings because as a PM, my job is to listen and share ideas. It’s hard to do that when a part of my brain is screaming “That’s a dumb fucking idea” or “You’re gonna fuck up”.
The anxiety can cause me to say too much by overpowering my impulse control. I say all the things in hopes no one notices I don’t know what I’m doing. Leaving others overwhelmed with the amount of detail or useless information.
Other times I don’t say enough so I may be seen as unprepared or uncaring about the matter. In both cases, I walk a tightrope trying to be confident in myself and not offending others.
🦋Being honest is kindness to yourself and others
I’ve found a solution to be kindness.
I practice kindness to myself by choosing to believe that what I feel or think is genuine and worth sharing.
Kindness by not giving in to my insecurity and choosing to be vulnerable with others with my opinions.
Kindness by believing that my ideas and stories are worth sharing.
Kindness by taking the time to articulate how and why I feel about an idea and allowing feedback from others to grow the idea further.
🦋A case study in design and kindness
In the first draft of the design, Amy presented me with an option that included some AI-generated art that played on the T and A in Tech Atypically. I didn’t connect with it but couldn’t articulate why or a better idea. I could have lied and said it was great and chose to not be kind to Amy or myself.
Instead of saying things like “Make it more modern” or “Make it pop”, I went along with it while starting my own research for a symbol. This led me to find that the international symbol for ADHD is a rainbow butterfly.
I suggested that the circle in the symbol could be a butterfly. That was not a great design idea but it was a start.
Amy took that feedback and worked her design, and AI magic to create what eventually became the new logomark for Tech Atypically.
This design was able to happen because we were both honest. Honest in sharing our opinions and allowing each other to refine our direction and design.
And then sprinkling AI on it to make it faster and cheaper.
Neither one of us knew about the butterfly when we started the project. Teamwork, tolerance of my oversharing and details, AI, and honesty, got us to a design I’m very happy with.
✨Conclusion
I’m proud of being able to be honest with the people I work with.
I’m proud that Amy continues to work with me despite my honesty and ADHD quirks.
I’m proud to be the kind of product manager that designers either love or hate. It means I’m saying things meaningful enough for others to have opinions on. That’s far more fun than being a PM no one remembers.
Or never experiencing the unexpected rewards of building ideas together.
Most importantly, I’m proud to choose kindness for myself and others. I hope you choose to be kinder too.
🐼Want to learn more, talk to me.
⏭️Next Week
A summary of this series on core product management and ADHD.