#33🎉 Core PM Skills - The Practice of Success (Strategies)
Strategies to celebrating your success to more effectively share yourself.
Welcome to Tech Atypically 👋, your weekly blog that explores the intersection of ADHD, product management, and the complexities of a neurodiverse life. In each issue, I dive into the science, stories, and strategies that can help you navigate the challenges of ADHD and being a product manager.
Part 8 of the Book of ADHD Product Management awaits you in this edition.
🌋Takeaways
I’m 90% confident Moana has ADHD
Knowing who you are and having the confidence to share it makes you more effective in job interviews and being able to share your stories.
Seriously, how did I not realize Moana has ADHD and her grandmother is the MVP of the story until now?
🐼Connect with me for free ADHD help
⭐Introduction
This week I learned that ADHD strategies are more effective when you have a stronger sense of who you are. Before you dive into the strategies, I want to share how you can look to Moana as a great example of finding yourself. I was recently watching Disney’s Moana for the 30th time and wondered if Moana has ADHD. She longs to be on the open ocean and live life differently from her parents. She talks to herself, jumps into situations blindly, and can’t control her urges to try new ideas. Yet, every day, she forces herself to live in accordance with her parent’s expectations and mask her feelings and actions. The only person who sees Moana for who she is is her grandmother Tala. Her grandmother enables her to escape her parents (by dying) and go on her quest to save the world.
At Moana’s moment when everything seems lost, Tala appears again with advice and a question:
Tala: And nothing on earth can silence, the quiet voice still inside you. And when that voice starts to whisper, Moana you’ve come so far, Moana, listen, do you know who you are?”
Moana: Who am I?
Who am I? That’s the question I’ve been asking myself this week as I go through 2 interviews simultaneously. The last 8 months of unemployment and writing have been an exercise of learning and describing myself. Swinging back and forth between moments of joy and absolute self-despair. Overall, I feel stronger. I am stronger. Because I have a better answer to the question of “who am I? Here are some strategies of how I got there.
🔥Strategies - Celebrating Success
Don’t let success become a mask by celebrating it when it happens.
This is for you perfectionists and high performers. Constant success can cover up underlying avoidance issues or poor practice. If you are constantly “winning” everything must be great right? That’s at least what you tell yourself. Celebrating success allows you to check in to see if you’re still on the right path. Just because you can release 10 features a week, does it mean you should? Does that make you happy? Celebrate what you’ve done and ask yourself, do you want to do it again?
Celebrating success is practicing accountability.
Accountability is one of the core aspects of being a PM and a common struggle when you have ADHD. Accountability is often seen as this shadow that is ready to strike down punishment when you don’t deliver as promised. It doesn’t have to be though. Accountability is choosing to be in a constant “state of choice” and accepting responsibility for those actions. That includes celebrating success and being proud of your accomplishments. It’s acknowledging growth and being accountable for your experiences, good and bad. It’s acknowledging success without “I should have…”
Practice gratitude.
Gratitude “tells our brain to stop looking at all the negativity and, instead, hone in on the good stuff in our world” (source). It’s a great way to give yourself some dopamine and change your emotional focus from dread to joy. Thank others and yourself for what they do. Recognize their joy and allow theirs into your life. Gratitude can give you energy interviews or discussions. I know it's a good talk when both parties walk away energized from talking to each other.
Create a happy bank and share the wealth.
A happy bank is a collection of things or memories that bring you joy. It’s a riff off of “The Trust Vault” and from my recent group coaching session with Aaron Trehan. It can be anything. Turn your to-do list into a list of accomplishments. It can be a list of happy memories you write and can reflect on when you need it. Maybe it’s a journal, newsletter, TikTok, or whatever works for you. Create the bank then share the wealth. Share these wins with yourself and others. Let others into your joys and celebrate your successes large and small. Think of it as your dopamine bank.
✨Conclusion
This week, I’ve felt more empowered in interviews than ever before. I had a good time answering questions, including case questions. I could have done better on the interview I had today but nailing 4/5 is still 80%. Instead of wallowing in my disappointment (by eating pie) in my interview today, I choose to celebrate my success. I choose to feel the majority of my feelings, joy, and let the minority feelings of disappointment, and shame go. I even made a new friend today and launched a splash page for a whiskey company I’m a co-founder of.
Who am I?
All the above and it feels great to share it.
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⏭️Next Week
The story of working with engineering.