#31🎉 Core PM Skills - The Practice of Success (Stories)

Practicing success to reduce self-loathing and find confidence in unemployment.

Welcome to Tech Atypically 👋, your weekly blog that explores the intersection of ADHD, product management, and the complexities of a neurodiverse life. In each issue, I dive into the science, stories, and strategies that can help you navigate the challenges of ADHD and being a product manager.

Part 6 of the Book of ADHD Product Management awaits you in this edition.

🌋Takeaways

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☕Format Note

Going forward I’ll be splitting out each topic into a separate post for the story, science, and strategy. This allows me to make each issue shorter and more focused on the aspect of the topic. Your votes and increase in open rates in the last 2 weeks point to a majority liking the format. Comment below if you have any thoughts.

⭐Introduction

I used to invest a lot of energy into downplaying my successes. When I achieved something, I often felt undeserving and attributed it to luck rather than recognizing my own capabilities. I used to believe that this mindset was normal and healthy, thinking that I didn't deserve the things I accomplished. However, I've come to realize that my accomplishments are not simply the result of luck or the kindness of others. So, what is it that prevents me from acknowledging my own achievements? While I initially attributed it to imposter syndrome and being Asian, I've discovered that self-loathing plays a significant role. To truly practice success, it's important to examine how self-loathing hinders your self-perception.

🦊Story - Success is a daily practice to be celebrated

My story points this week are intentional counterpoints to one I wrote in the practice of failure. Success and failures are always occurring and changing. It’s your ADHD that makes you think they are static experiences that will haunt you forever.

Success is a basic part of life. You succeeded today by being able to wake up and not be one of the 150,000 people that die on average every day. You succeeded by being able to break into the tech industry or product management. You succeeded by learning you have ADHD or another form of neurodiversity. Success happens every day whether you choose to accept it or not. So why bother trying to ignore it?

No matter how much you fail, you are going to experience repeated success in your professional life. Every time a read a product manager job description or start a new interview cycle, the crushing doubt of wondering if I’m good enough to be a PM again creeps up. Do I deserve to work again? Was everything I did before this a fluke? It’s my negative ADHD cycle.

One of my greatest creative successes was having a photo of mine be the face of a national beer campaign. The image also hangs as a 4-piece, 6 x 4-foot metal print in Firestone Walker Barrelworks. You’ll find more of my work in Firestone in Paso Robles too.

I stop my spin by reminding myself of my successes. I was a PM at Amazon for 5 years. 5 f’ing years in a place where 49% of employees make it less than a year and only 20% of people stay between 5-7 years. I learned how to be uncomfortable, grow, learn, fail, succeed, and do it all over again. I remind myself I may not be the PM the job I interview for needs today, but I am very successful at learning to be the PM a team needs.

Each practice of success is an opportunity to reduce your self-loathing. My newsletter is my practice of success. I write these newsletters for two main reasons. To help myself process my life experiences with ADHD and to help others like me feel less alone. Each issue is a celebration and a reminder that I continue to succeed at these goals. Each person I meet is an opportunity to celebrate our shared experiences. It helps me practice showing love to myself and others.

Recognizing success is integral to developing self-awareness and clarity of needs. When you don’t recognize success, you’ll keep working towards something but have no gauge if that’s the direction you want. You’ll spin and procrastinate as a way to avoid coming to terms with success and failure. Celebrating success lets you know you’re still on the right path, whether in life or your product; it’s clarity. (Shout to Coach Aaron Trahan for his lesson in clarity this week)

I am choosing to no longer reinforce my self-loathing by relabeling myself as self-employed instead of unemployed. Up until 2 days ago I would tell people I’ve been unemployed since the end of October but I started 3 businesses.

The “but” was my practice of self-loathing. It started as a way to cover the shame of being unemployed and having proof I wasn’t sitting around the house all day. The “but” diminished my accomplishments in launching my businesses and my own self-esteem. The last 8 months have been some of the hardest yet transformative periods of my life. I choose to celebrate my success by saying I’m self-employed and looking for my next job.

✨Conclusion

Embracing success as a daily practice liberates you from the burden of self-loathing and diminishes the negative voices associated with ADHD. Through this practice, you develop a sense of pride and come closer to your authentic self. You align yourself with the person that your loved ones see every day, fostering stronger connections and a healthier self-perception. By embracing success, you unlock your full potential and create a path of growth and fulfillment.

🐼Need a nudge toward your dreams?

⏭️Next Week

The science of the Practice of Success and how ADHD can interfere with our ability to celebrate ourselves.