#28💭 Core PM Skills - Dreaming
How to become self-aware and share your dreams.
Welcome to Tech Atypically 👋, your weekly blog that explores the intersection of ADHD, product management, and the complexities of a neurodiverse life. In each issue, we dive into the science, stories, and strategies that can help you navigate the challenges of ADHD and the chaotic world of being a product manager.
Part 3 of the Book of ADHD Product Management awaits you in this edition.
🌋Takeaways
Dreaming is an essential part of being a product manager, but it can be challenging for individuals with ADHD.
Self-awareness and the courage to share your dreams are crucial for overcoming these difficulties.
Strengthening the cerebellum through exercise can help regulate the transition between different cognitive modes.
Nurturing dreams with ADHD requires accepting that dreams evolve, sharing them with others to increase their chances of realization, collaborating with partners (especially in UX), reframing negative self-talk with positive affirmations, and celebrating progress along the journey.
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⭐Introduction
Dreaming is the culmination of curiosity—an intricate blend of our inquisitiveness, lived experiences, and the boundless potential of our minds. Dreams provide us with a purpose to strive for, igniting our passion to create something new. As product managers, dreaming becomes an essential responsibility, driving you to forge new paths for the betterment of your customers and, ideally, your own success. However, for those with ADHD, dreaming can pose unique challenges. It demands self-awareness to conceive the dream and the courage to share it with others. In this chapter, we explore the difficulties faced by product managers with ADHD when it comes to dreaming, and strategies to overcome these obstacles.
🦊Story - Dreaming and Panic
Dreaming necessitates a profound self-awareness of our desires and needs. Yet, this can be an arduous task when you have spent your life masking your behaviors and emotions—either out of survival or to appease others. You become an expert at suppressing your innermost feelings and aspirations until the pressure becomes too great and manifests in irrational actions, such as impulsively quitting a job or experiencing sudden illness.
While openly sharing personal dreams, like becoming an ADHD coach or a Chief Product Officer in a whiskey company, may come naturally, dreaming within the confines of my professional life can trigger panic. When faced with uncertainty or lacking immediate solutions, my ADHD mind can send me into a tailspin of confusion, leading to procrastination and avoidance. Sometimes, I can manage to tackle the work and emerge unscathed, while other times, I find myself in trouble. However, it is crucial to understand that my struggles do not stem from an inability to dream but from the unique challenges posed by ADHD.
🦄Science - Default Mode and Task Positive Mode
One theory regarding ADHD suggests that individuals with the condition face difficulties in transitioning between the Default Mode Network (DMN) and the Task Positive Network (TPN), also known as the Attention Network. The DMN is responsible for rest, consolidation, and daydreaming, while the TPN drives motivation, willpower, and focused attention (source, source).
These two networks are inversely correlated—when one is active, the other diminishes. It is believed that individuals with ADHD often struggle to shift out of the DMN mode, resulting in a propensity for daydreaming and generating creative ideas. However, this inclination comes at the cost of maintaining focus on tasks that may not capture our interest.
The cerebellum is thought to play a crucial role in regulating the switch between these networks. By engaging in exercises that strengthen the cerebellum, particularly those involving balance, individuals with ADHD can enhance their ability to transition between these modes, alleviating symptoms. This underscores the significance of exercise in managing ADHD (source).
🔥Strategy - Nurturing Dreaming with ADHD
Accept that dreams are fluid and ever-evolving, much like the process of product development.
Embrace the understanding that change is inherent to dreams. With ADHD, it's common for abandoned hobbies and goals to become a source of shame. Practice releasing the shame associated with dreams or ideas left behind. Don’t let rejection sensitivity dysmorphia make a bump into an abandon ship action. Remember, moving on to the next dream is not failure. Each dream serves as a stepping stone, building upon the knowledge and experiences you've gained along the way.
Share your dreams to increase the likelihood of realizing them.
It may initially feel uncomfortable to share your aspirations with friends or strangers. However, isn't this what you do as a product manager? Utilize your curiosity to become aware of needs, synthesize them into compelling stories, and share them with stakeholders to bring your visions to life. Although it may be challenging with ADHD, recognize the power of sharing your dreams.
Don't dream alone—leverage UX and your partners.
Having strong partners, particularly in the realm of User Experience (UX), is vital for individuals with ADHD. Collaborate closely with designers and other professionals to develop ideas and gain insight into customer and business needs. Dreaming together, whether with UX experts, engineers, or other stakeholders, holds the key to creating robust dreams while silencing your ADHD-induced panic. (Shout out to my friend Andres for this tip)
Reframe negative statements into positive affirmations by adding "yet" to the end of them.
It's easy to spiral into despair and doubt when faced with initial obstacles on the path to your dreams. By reframing negative self-talk with the addition of the word "yet," you shift your perspective. "I don't have a job, yet," "I haven't established an exercise routine, yet," "I don't have a fully formed product vision, yet." This simple addition reminds you that life and product management are journeys filled with bumps and leaps that propel you forward.
Allow yourself to celebrate the progress and accomplishments of your dreams.
Celebrating oneself can be one of the most challenging endeavors for individuals with ADHD. It often stems from a sense of self-loathing and imposter syndrome. You may think, "Yes, I achieved this, but it's not enough. I need to accomplish the next thing before people discover that I'm a fraud." That’s your ADHD talking, not reality. The reality is you did it and deserve it. Celebrating yourself, especially in the presence of others, breaks the cycle of negative self-thoughts, provides a surge of dopamine, and allows you to share your dreams with those around you.
✨Conclusion
Dreaming of a future that you carve for yourself fuels your passion as a person and product manager. At your best, it enables you to create spaces that are significant to you (like this blog for me) and meaningful to others (like you!) However, at your lowest points, the weight of "should" and "shame" can impede your progress. Fear may prevent you from accepting the gifts or opportunities that would bring you closer to your dreams. In those moments, remember that dreams, much like product direction, are meant to change and be challenged. Embrace your dreams, share them fearlessly, and unleash your ADHD-powered creativity upon the world.
🐼Need a nudge toward your dreams?
⏭️Next Week
The practice of failure in product management and ADHD.