#9 Imposter Syndrome and the limitless meaning of being a product manager
When titles don't mean a thing, use your ADHD to make it what you want it to be.
This line is my version of a Simpson’s couch gag. Jump to the takeaways.
Part 4 of 4 in the Imposter Syndrome Series
Part 2 - Being able to identify what you like to do and how you succeed is a strength, not a weakness.
Part 3 - You feed your imposter syndrome monster when you over-attribute your success to luck.
Introduction
(Note: I’m trying out a new writing structure this week to get my writing time down from 8-9 hours articles per article to 2-3 hours. Hopefully, you’ll find the format easier to read and get takeaways from. Throw a comment down below if you have thoughts.)
There is an infinite number of product manager (PM) roles out there. No two companies treat the PMs the same. The nature of the work of a PM can widely vary from company to company or within the same company. Yet the title of PM stays consistent (except for when Product Owner is used). Why is that? I think it’s because PMs are the catch-all for ambiguity. Whether you’re not sure how to architect (tech PM), grow (growth PM), design (design PM), or measure (data PM), there is a PM type that can help address your question. Yet, why do these PMs exist if these domains have existing disciplines of, respectively, engineering, product marketing, design, and business intelligence? I believe it’s because there’s always a degree of uncertainty and ambiguity about how these domains connect to the rest of the company. It’s our job as PMs to navigate our teams through the unknown by being the interstitial of all teams. I like to think of it as “PMs own nothing, but get blamed for everything that goes wrong”. (This is a half-joke)
The nature of being a PM can engage or create chaos in your ADHD mind. It can spur great creativity and joy when you have the right environment. The lack of structure and ambiguity can also empower your imposter monster to make you think you're unworthy or don’t belong. To overcome our imposter monster, it’s important to remember that because of the infinite possibilities of being a PM, there is most likely a place waiting for you to show up and rock their house.
Instead of a narrative story in which I spill my innermost trauma and mistakes, I’m going to cut straight to four things I think might be helpful for your ADHD brain.
It’s not that you don’t know what you’re doing, it’s that the product manager role is ambiguous and everything varies everywhere (all at once).
I often feel insecure and uneducated as a PM when I look at the various roadmaps, strategies, or frameworks when I see that other PMs use on LinkedIn or Youtube. It makes me think I have no idea what the F I’m doing as a PM. I didn’t really use any of those things in my previous roles. I can spiral into self-doubt about being a “real PM” when I think about it too much.
When this happens, I’ve found it helpful to step back and think about what I’ve accomplished, and not how. I have accomplished PM work, at scale, and at one of the top companies in the world. My imposter monster can’t take that away. The fancy tools, strategies, and “core PM skills” are the how, and the how is constantly changing. It’s the core nature of our role. What works for one company, might not work for another. A product strategy that worked last year might not work this year. Rather than dwell on insecurities about how or what you’re missing, focus on things that give you the highest probability of success. Remember your job is to create a path through the unknown and everyone does it differently. That’s the fun of the job.
Lean into the ambiguity of what it is to be a product manager and identify what parts of the company or role engage your ADHD.
Instead of letting your ADHD brain compare yourself on how you don’t stack up to other PMs, get it to find the parts that you enjoy. There are lots of skills beyond the “core PM skills” that PMs have to learn. Engineering, design, analytics, product marketing, sales, and customer success are just some of the domains that you may have to learn to be effective on your team. Let your ADHD brain learn more about the domains that you get excited about. If you really enjoy customer success, there are customer success PM roles out there. Enjoy product marketing? Well, lucky you, the title “product marketing manager” already has the words “product” and “manager” in it. The beauty of PM ambiguity is you can often make it what you want it to be.
Be warned, however, during this journey of discovery and cross-discipline learning, our ADHD imposter monster may creep in. It can shift our focus to how we may fall short in comparison to other PMs on our team. A thought like “Ron is already such a great design PM. I couldn’t possibly do that work” may show up. If this happens, try reframing the insecurity as having access to a good teacher. Put yourself out there and let your ADHD brain do the rest of the work.
Most companies are making things up as they go, and ADHD brains are often great at doing that.
The idea that everyone is making it up as they go isn’t new. I’m not here to beat the overused sentiment. Rather this is a reminder that common traits of ADHD can include the abilities of creativity, doing well under pressure, and hyperfocus. These are all great traits to have when traversing the unknowns of product management.
The important part is figuring out what engages your ADHD brain and recognizing that what engages others maybe be different from yours. There’s no shame in not doing what others can do. For example, my ADHD brain, when it comes to tech products, enjoys going from 1 to N (scaling growth) more so than it does going from 0 to 1 (starting something entirely new). I enjoy creating something new off an existing foundation, more so than something from nothing. There’s no shame in that. To put this in practice, I tend to focus on roles in companies with existing products looking to grow, and not brand-new startups.
Before asking yourself “Is being a PM the right thing for me?” ask yourself, “Is this work I want to be doing?”
I keep asking myself this question over and over. It’s partly what drove me to start this blog. To openly process and rationalize this question for myself. My imposter syndrome tells me in its loudest voice, “No, get the fuck out you fraud”. The job is hard, lacks clear success criteria sometimes and even when you get a PM job, it might not even be a fit for you. Failure is expected and common. I can’t control most of those aspects. What I can control however is defining the type of work I want to be doing. To be asking myself, over and over, what makes me happy and what do I want to do? The answer isn’t static and is ever-evolving but my ADHD makes me feel shame for a non-static answer.
I used to feel shame that I haven’t had the same career throughout my life as some of my peers. Shame that I haven’t figured out “what I want to be when I grow up in my late 30s”. Thinking about this as I write, I’m releasing this shame by granting myself some kindness and recognition. Kindness to forgive me for feeling shame. Recognition that I’ve had the repeated courage to leave careers that were no longer what I wanted and to pursue new ones. I can tell you from experience, it’s a lot of work to swap careers. But you know what? I’d rather live free learning new ways to fail than live caged with the same failure for the rest of my life.
Conclusion
Being a product manager can mean almost anything and that creates the opportunity for you to define what you want. It can come with a pitfall though. When you’re trying to manage your ADHD insecurity and carry the burden of an ambiguous job, it’s easy to look at others and only see where you fall short in comparison. Without a clear objective to strive for, you can let your insecurity run rampant and create a prison of your own making. You can lose sight of your own contributions and let your imposter monster take over. You don’t have to though. The imposter syndrome monster is your own making. You can choose to nurture it and have it ride shotgun through your life. Like a crappy road trip partner that keeps asking to stop at sketchy diners for questionable food. Or you can choose to make it a point of reflection and a reminder to be kind to yourself and others. It’s a reminder that most people don’t want to out others as frauds (unless it’s TV psychics, screw those guys. Except Psych, long live Gus and Shawn). They want the same thing anyone in techs wants, to be accepted for who they are and be at a company that successfully IPOs enough for them to retire. That place is out there waiting for you, get at it.
In the words of Patton Oswalt - “It’s all chaos, be kind.”
Takeaways
It’s not that you don’t know what you’re doing, the product manager role is ambiguous and varies from company to company.
Lean into the ambiguity of what it is to be a product manager and identify what parts of the company or role engage your ADHD.
Most companies are making things up as they go, and ADHD brains are often great at doing that.
Before asking yourself “is being a PM the right thing for me?” ask yourself, “Is this work environment the right thing for me?”
Next Week
A reflection and summary of what I’ve learned from writing about imposter syndrome in the last month.