Vacation Reflection from the Skies of Southeast Asia

A reflection of privilege and what parents pass on to us

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As I write this, I’m flying over the Pacific Ocean to Thailand—my first time home in 13 years. My daughter sits next to me in premium economy, absorbed in her tablet. We’re taking my mother back to say goodbye. (This trip is a series of goodbyes) I think it’ll be the last time her health allows her to travel home.

I keep wondering how I’ll help my daughter understand how lucky her life is.

She’s only two generations removed from a poor immigrant family that fled China to Thailand during the Communist Revolution. Her grandparents came to the US as undocumented immigrants.

My mom went from selling soy milk for pennies in the streets of Thailand to becoming a business owner and homeowner in one of the most expensive areas in the US. (She didn’t pull herself up by her bootstraps—she had lots of help, luck, and the love of her second husband, also an immigrant.)

My mom has a second-grade education. I have a master’s degree and am a Fulbright Scholar. My wife has a PhD, the first in her family. We’re a trilingual, multi-racial family. That’s a hell of a jump in one generation.

I don’t have expectations for what my daughter should become or how she’ll push our family up the social ladder.

I want her to understand that she is the convergence of people from all over the world. She has more advantages than previous generations, but she’ll face new challenges that I probably wouldn’t know how to overcome. But I have faith she will.

Because no matter what she wants to do or how hard things get, she has a family and ancestors who will love and support her. That’s the gift I want to give her. It’s the same gift mom gave me, but I didn’t know how to accept it until now.

I’ll have to thank her for that while I’m on this trip.

I’m going to stop writing before the flight attendants start worrying why a grown man is crying next to a child watching fairy cartoons.

See you next week, maybe?

Rawi

This is what I look like after over 23 hours of transit

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