#98🏢 Finding Your Authentic Brand: How to Stand Out in Tech Interviews

Being Your True Self Is Your Greatest Competitive Advantage

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I am an ADHD and product management coach, helping you change one belief and take one action each week.

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Part 12 of the Finding Happiness Series

🦋The Takeaways

Belief: You need to hide your true self and become what the interviewer wants to see.

Reality: Authenticity helps you stand out and find a job that makes you happy.

Action: Discover and embrace your unique brand during interview preparation.

⭐️Introduction

Finding happiness often requires being happy at work, which means finding a job where you can be your authentic self. However, many of us focus solely on getting the job, believing we must hide our true selves to succeed. What if we’re wrong, though?

This week, I'm joined by Melissa Taney - a former Amazon Bar Raiser with over 15 years of experience in big tech, mostly recently as a Director of Analytics. Melissa has interviewed hundreds of candidates for both technical and non-technical roles. I’m lucky enough to have been interviewed and hired by Melissa in the past.

Melissa and I had a candid conversation on how people with ADHD, anxiety, and introversion can better prepare for interviews. We discuss how embracing authenticity and developing interview stories around your personal brand can help you stand out to experienced interviewers in a crowded market.

Remember, interviews are not judgments of your self-worth.

😵‍💫The Belief - I Must Become What They Want

Tech interviews often feel like acting auditions. You study the company culture, memorize leadership principles, and try to transform yourself into the "ideal candidate." If you're neurodivergent like me, you spend most of your time thinking about how to not appear as your regular self.

You tell yourself:

• My authentic self isn't good enough.

• Everyone else is naturally better at interviewing.

• If I reveal my true self or needs, I'll be rejected.

• If I can just be anyone else but me, I’ll get the job.

So what do you do? You study books and YouTube videos in hopes of finding “one framework or pattern to rule them all” and guarantee interview success. You come up and memorize answers you don’t believe in, but check the “should” boxes for safe interview answers.

However, this leads to what Melissa calls the ‘sameness problem’.

Melissa shared, "A challenge for someone who interviews a lot is that candidates often start to sound similar. You don't want to sound just like the 25 other candidates I recently interviewed. Standing out, uniqueness, is important.”

On top of that, the masking is exhausting, and the results are often negative. It’s hard work pretending to be someone else. If 50% of your energy is spent on someone else in an interview, you’re performing at 50% of your capabilities.

Even worse, if you succeed at the performance, you might land a job where you'll need to keep masking indefinitely—a recipe for burnout and unhappiness.

🤝The Reality - Authenticity Creates Connection

"I resonate with candidates who are being authentic," Melissa explains. "You have to embrace who you are because that's what you're going to bring."

The reality is that your uniqueness, even aspects you might consider flaws, can be your greatest strength in interviews. Your neurodivergent brain works differently. You approach problems differently, and you bring perspectives that others don't. That’s what makes you stand out in a crowded market.

I experienced this firsthand when applying to Shopify a few years ago. I submitted a resume, and the recruiter reached out to me and told me in my first meeting, “We had 382 applicants. We whittled it down to the top 40. The reason we chose you is because of your ADHD blog.” My blog demonstrated my writing ability, which they found to be one of the hardest things to coach in product managers.

By disclosing something I was initially scared to share, my ADHD and blog, I stood out from hundreds of other qualified candidates. More importantly, I felt seen for who I actually am, which helped me interview more confidently.

I showed up for each interview after that with emotional regulation and confidence because they saw who I was, and wanted that. It felt damn good.

That’s important not just to interview well but also to make sure you’re going into a job that’s a good fit for you. As Melissa points out, "You don't want to get a job where you're expected to be something that you're not because you're not going to be successful, or happy, in that job. You want a job that matches your skill set with what they need."

When you show up authentically, you increase your likelihood of success from the resume through the interview process because you know the company wants you as you are, and not who you think you’re supposed to be.

Tell me about a time you didn’t show up way too late or early for a meeting.

🛠️The Action - Discover Your Brand

Here's how to find and leverage your authentic brand in interviews:

1. Define what makes you unique

"Establish a brand for yourself that you can promote," Melissa advises. "What will you bring to the role that uniquely defines you?” Speaking specifically about those who struggle with self-promotion, Melissa emphasized, “This isn’t the time to be modest. We want to hear about your wins, your leadership, and the results you drove. Brag a little—it’s earned.”

Personal brands can be anything from an innovative approach to problem-solving, a unique communication style, an insatiable curiosity, your technical aptitude, or a specific combination of experiences.

The key is to pick a theme and stick to it. For me, it's being a connector who can translate between different teams and perspectives, while Melissa focuses on leading technical teams to deliver business results.

If you're struggling to identify your brand, think about the value you consistently deliver. Melissa continued, "Your narrative should focus on how your brand helped deliver results. A good technique is to work backward from a success story you want to share during an interview. What did you do specifically that helped lead to this success? Is there a pattern to your stories that can become your brand?"

2. Thread your brand through your stories

Preparation is a critical element of a good interview. “You need to prepare 5-6 stories, at least, that showcase your ability to deliver results while remaining true to your brand and your authentic self,” Melissa stated. "Outline each of your stories in the STAR format (Situation, Task, Action, Result) and weave your brand into the narrative. For me, this means showcasing how my technical leadership directly contributed to each success story I’m sharing.”

Contrary to popular belief, you don’t need to have a different story outlined for every possible interview question, but you do need to have a variety of strong examples that can be adapted to the question asked while maintaining your brand and showcasing business value.

3. Embrace your growth areas authentically

Additionally, Melissa values candidates who are open about their growth, "I appreciate candidates who acknowledge their opportunity areas and proactively take action to close those gaps. Learn and Be Curious is my favorite Amazon Leadership Principle."

Rather than pretending to be perfect, prepare to talk authentically about times you've faced challenges. Melissa shared, "I love to hear examples where a candidate was tasked with a problem they initially did not know how to solve, but they figured out a solution." Popular examples include learning a new technical skill or software application, creating a new operating procedure, or teaching yourself a new soft skill.

This authentic sharing demonstrates self-awareness, resiliency, and a growth mindset—qualities highly valued in tech.

✨Conclusion

Finding happiness at work starts with finding a job where you can be your authentic self. By discovering and embracing your unique brand during the interview process, you not only stand out from other candidates but also increase your chances of finding a role where you can thrive.

The tech industry needs diverse thinkers and approaches. By bringing your full, authentic self to interviews, you're not just serving your happiness—you're contributing to innovation and progress.

You’re not broken. You don’t need to hide. Instead, use your brand to tell your story to find the job that needs you. And not the you you think you should be.

If you’re interested in learning more from Melissa, reach out.

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⏭️Next Week

Trauma. Yeah, let’s talk about trauma and Trauma!