#90🌱 Self-Awareness in Tech: An ADHD Guide to Emotional Intelligence

How build the mechanisms to respond to the pressure of working in tech.

Welcome to Tech Atypically 👋, your weekly blog for navigating the challenges of ADHD and being in the tech industry.

I am an ADHD and product management coach helping you change one belief and take one action each week.

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Part 3 of the Finding Happiness Series

🦋The Takeaways

Belief: My neurodiversity makes my self-awareness is a disability that must masked to survive on the job.

Reality: Self-awareness is a practice, not a state, and it's okay if we don't always get it right.

Action: Build practical tools and spaces to practice self-awareness.

⭐️What does this have to do with happiness?

This issue is special because it’s the first time I’ve created a podcast episode. I’ve been trying to do this for years, and I’ve finally done it. Is it perfect? No, but it’s my first step forward.

In true ADHD fashion, I made one episode and am unsure what to do next. However, the experience of exploring a storytelling format I’m new to makes me happy.

You’ll find 2 different versions of the episode. One will be the video of the full conversation and a newsletter issue that’s adopted from the interview. Find a poll at the bottom of the newsletter to vote on which format you like more.

⭐️Introduction

Today I’m joined by workplace wellness consultant Carolyn Thayer-Azoff, and explore how self-awareness impacts your experience in tech. While many ADHD resources focus on productivity and task management, they often overlook the foundational skill of understanding your own emotional landscape.

As a tech worker with ADHD, you face unique challenges in connecting with your feelings and needs, especially in fast-paced environments that demand constant adaptation and response.

😵‍💫The Belief - Perfect emotional awareness is required to be seen as “good”

In the tech industry, there's an unspoken expectation that you should always be emotionally composed and “professional”. “Don’t get emotional” is something I was told by a skip manager once while being told I was putting on a review plan.

You feel pressure to respond flawlessly to feedback, never show emotional "weakness," and handle constant change without visible stress. To keep your feelings out of work and to be a calm professional, despite being overwhelmed with an emotional response.

This mindset is particularly challenging if you have ADHD, where emotional awareness often works differently. You might struggle to identify your feelings in the moment or get overwhelmed by their intensity.

🤝The Reality - Self-awareness is a practice not a state

Self-awareness isn't about perfect emotional control – it's about understanding your thoughts, feelings, and behaviors and their impact on yourself and others. Think of it like a muscle you can strengthen over time, not a skill you're either born with or without.

Your body often serves as the first indicator of your emotional state. Before you can put words to a feeling, you might notice tension in your shoulders, a racing heart, or shallow breathing. This physical awareness becomes especially crucial in high-pressure tech environments where you're expected to make quick decisions and respond to rapid changes.

You’re supposed to be fast, not wrong, and accept the unexpected as your fault sometimes. It’s a lot of pressure.

Self-awareness is the muscle that helps you handle the pressure. Carolyn notes, "Self-awareness and self-care support each other. If your self-care bucket is full, you have more capacity for self-awareness." This symbiotic relationship means that taking care of your basic needs isn't just about health – it's about building your capacity for emotional intelligence.

Morning runs help me become more self-aware of my feelings by providing enough stimulation to my body that I can get underneath the noise of my ADHD. Rain or snow, I’m out there working out my shit. Take from a run a few years ago.

🛠️The Action - Build your self-awareness toolkit

• Expand your emotional vocabulary: Use the feelings wheel to move beyond basic emotions. Instead of just "angry," you might discover you're frustrated, disappointed, or overwhelmed. This precision helps both in understanding yourself and communicating with others.

• Practice body scanning: Take three deep breaths before meetings and notice your physical state. Your body often knows how you're feeling before your mind does. Look for tension, energy levels, and physical comfort as clues to your emotional state.

• Choose your reflection method: Don't force yourself into traditional journaling if it doesn't work for you. Try audio notes, voice memos, or even movement-based reflection. I (Rawi) switch between written newsletters and audio journals depending on my energy and available space.

• Build psychological safety: Identify one or two trusted colleagues who can be your emotional sounding boards. Practice expressing feelings in these safe relationships before tackling more challenging workplace situations.

• Create pause points: Build intentional moments in your day to check in with yourself. This could be during your morning coffee, between meetings, or during your commute.

✨Conclusion

In tech, the focus is often on external metrics and productivity tools. But your true success starts with understanding yourself better. Self-awareness isn't about achieving perfect emotional control – it's about building a better relationship with your thoughts, feelings, and needs.

When you understand yourself better, you naturally communicate more effectively, make decisions aligned with your values, build more authentic relationships, and navigate challenges with greater resilience. Remember, you don't need to figure it all out at once. Start with small steps, be patient with yourself, and celebrate your progress along the way.

I’m celebrating my first podcast. What will you celebrate this week?

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⏭️Next Week

Back to a traditional text post by yours truly.