#52⚡ Burnout - How to rest and recharge without shame
The science of attentional states and how use them for more effective rest.
Welcome to Tech Atypically 👋, your weekly blog for navigating the challenges of ADHD and being in the tech industry.
I’m an ADHD and product management coach helping you feel a little more comfortable in your own mind by oversharing mine.
Part 7 of the Coping with Burnout series.
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⭐Before you read…
Could you take 2 minutes to about the newsletter? It’ll help me hone my content and you get entered into a raffle for a free copy of Extra Focus by Jesse J Anderson. He’s far more fun to read than me.
Congrats to N for filling out the survey and winning a copy of Extra Focus last week.
⭐Trying out a new format
This week I’m going to try a new format for the newsletter. My goal is to help you more easily apply one of the ideas each week.
I want to acknowledge that my format is inspired by Jason Feifer’s Newsletter One Thing Better. It’s a newsletter about self-growth and is applicable to neurotypical and diverse folks.
It’s also the first time I’ve paid for an entire year for a newsletter. I value it that much.
Also, he wrote a story about meeting and the value of finding more Rawis.
⭐The Takeaways
The belief: The time I use for recreational activities like video games, Reddit, comics, etc should have been used for “work” instead of “play”.
The reality: Recreational activities or “mindless” attention are essential to helping us move between our states of attention.
The action: Let go of the “should” by being intentional with your rest time.
⭐Introduction
When I'm burned out, I often resort to vices like mindlessly scrolling on Reddit or playing video games, activities I mistakenly thought were detrimental to my focus.
I've since learned, partly thanks to my wife's insight and the book "Attention Span" that these 'mindless' tasks are actually beneficial for our focused attention and crucial for transitioning between different states of attention.
⚡The Reality - Dispelling Attention Myths
Below the 4 types of attention from the book and some examples from my life:
Rote - Low challenge, high engagement attention
Mobile video games, Reddit, Netflix
Bored - Low challenge, low engagement
Reading product management books (I still haven’t finished Marty Cagan’s book)
Focus - High engagement, high challenge
PC games, hanging out with friends
Frustrated - Low engagement, high challenge
Working a job you hate, doing taxes
⚡You’re always at attention
As someone with ADHD, you’re constantly trying to fight for the appropriate type of attention.
If you’re inattentive, you’re trying to be more attentive. If you’re hyperfocused, you’re trying to be more inattentive. It’s a struggle to find balance.
With this framework, see yourself as always at “attention” and constantly flowing between the attentional states. The time you spend on one sets up your ability to spend more time on the other.
Bored work allows you to consolidate other ideas and recharge for focused work.
Frustrated work uses bored work to rest and rethink how the work could be more focused.
Rote work, enables to me go into focused or frustrated work by giving me some dopamine and a break.
If I stay focused too long I get frustrated.
The big takeaway here is that all attention is connected and too much of one thing is bad. It’s like the Force, it surrounds us and moves us
⚡The action - Being intentional with rest
I recently was telling my wife about how ashamed I felt about the 110 hours I had spent playing the Zelda Tears of the Kingdom video game.
In my head, I wondered what new skills I could have learned or what books I could have read with that time. I lamented about this better version of myself that could have existed if I had not spent so many hours playing video games.
I felt shame, blame, and underachievement. My favorite ADHD emotions.
My wife surprised me with a question. “During the times you were playing video games, were you in a mental state to work?”
I thought about it and she was right.
I estimate that 80% of the time I play video games were times when I couldn’t work. I was too tired mentally or physically and couldn’t do “productive” work.
For example, after a long day of coaching, I can’t mentally process reading a book about ADHD or product growth. I need pictures of bourbon on Reddit or hacking monsters in Zelda to relax dammit.
My wife’s simple question alleviated my shame and made my gaming time more enjoyable. I could do the things I enjoy because I understood its intention and purpose.
⚡The Action - Telling yourself to rest
Here’s a strategy to try to keep helping you do the tasks you love in moderation and help you flow between attentional states.
Tell yourself, you’re going to rest for X number of minutes by doing X hobby or action.
Really tell yourself though. Write it down, say it out loud, tell your partner, whatever you want. Set a timer and do the thing you love.
At the end of the timer check in with yourself.
Do I need sleep? (Is this a poor judgment call because I need sleep?)
How do you feel? Did you have fun? Do you feel rested?
Do you need more rest? Or is it time to do something else?
Are you ready to switch tasks and attentional states?
The ADHD magic here isn’t you doing the task. It’s you doing what you love without shame or guilt, and allowing yourself to connect with yourself again.
And sleep. You should get lots of sleep.
✨Conclusion
In the face of ADHD and burnout, it's easy to fall into procrastination, like endless Netflix nights to avoid the dread of work. But it's crucial to realize: these are not escapes, but choices.
You have the control. So choose activities that truly recharge you, without guilt.
Remember, mindful rest isn't avoidance; it's a form of self-respect.
This week, embrace your power to balance leisure and work and recognize that in doing so, you're taking the next step of burnout recovery.
A big thanks to my wife for this story. You inspire me every day.
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⏭️Next Week
How to help someone you love who is burned out and has ADHD