#23 The PM Interview and Attention and Focus (Part 1 Science)

How emotions drive attention and focus, not the other way around.

Welcome to Tech Atypically👋. I’m an ADHD Coach, product manager, and former neuroscience researcher. I write a weekly blog about ADHD, product management, and a neurodiverse life. Each issue includes science, stories, and strategies for regulating your ADHD.

Part 13 of the Product Manager Interview and Executive Function (EF) Series. Scroll to the bottom to see the domains of EF I’ll be covering in no particular order.

🌋Takeaways

• Regulated focus and attention are byproducts of regulated emotions.

• Emotions > Attention has opened new doors for me and my coaching clients on how to harness their ADHD.

• Emotional regulation is at the heart of being able to live the life you want.

⭐Introduction

When I started writing about ADHD I thought improving my attention and focus would improve my life. If I could do things the way that others do them, I would be happy and free of shame. I would be “normal” and free to enjoy life the same way as others. Coaching and writing about executive functions over the last 14 weeks have shown me I was wrong. Improving my attention doesn’t improve my emotions. Learning to experience and conduct my emotions improves my attention and focus. This led me to a core principle on how I approach ADHD: Regulated focus and attention are byproducts of regulated emotions.

⚗️Science - What are focus and attention?

Let’s break down my science-sounding sentence above with some science and examples.

• Attention - The mental process of selectively concentrating on specific information while ignoring other stimuli in the environment. Attention is short by nature.

  • Example - Noticing the emoji before reading the title header.

• Focus - The ability to maintain sustained attention on a particular task or goal. Focus can encompass multiple steps and actions.

  • Example - You attended to the 🧚 emoji but you are focusing on learning more about ADHD by reading this article.

• Regulate - The process of maintaining control and balance over one's emotions, behaviors, and cognitive processes to ensure optimal performance. ADHD impairs your ability to regulate.

  • Example - I took my ADHD meds and supplements, ate a healthy meal, and ran this morning. Which allows me to be calm enough to write this article without checking Reddit. Otherwise, I’d be checking Reddit to avoid the feeling of rejection from no one reading my article.

• Emotions - Things that you feel but have spent most of your life trying to suppress because your parents told you feelings don’t matter, only work. (Shoutout to my fellow kids of immigrants).

  • Example - Spending two years in therapy learning to learn how to be self-aware of my feelings and be able to share them with others to maintain healthy relationships. Turns out my parents were wrong and being able to process and conduct your emotions are central to everything you do.

My ADHD can feel like a monkey sometimes. It spins and jumps to its own beat. (A cartoon of a man’s brain with a monkey smashing cymbals together and doing standing flips)

⚗️Science Part 2 -The flow of emotions to actions

• ADHD impairs your ability to regulate your emotions.

• Your emotions consciously and subconsciously impair your cognitive processes of attention, focus, and thoughts.

• Your impaired cognitive processes drive your actions and behaviors.

• Your impaired actions and behaviors make other people, including yourself, think that you are inattentive, hyperfocal, lazy, or “just not trying hard enough”.

• Therefore, you need to approach ADHD from an emotional regulation perspective first, not an attentional one.

🔥Story - How I accidentally used my blog to mask experiencing my emotions

When I started writing about the PM interview, my idea was to use my ADHD hyperfocus to overcome my anxiety and fear about product manager interviews. My strategy was to use my readers as an external focal point and motivator to circumvent my anxiety. Doing so would enable me to practice case questions daily and get a job. I was trying to use an attentional approach to change an emotional state.

I realize now that I was misguided because I missed addressing the underlying emotional cause. Even if my plan worked and I practiced every day, I still wouldn’t have addressed the root cause of my anxiety. The feelings resurfaced when it came time to actually interview. I had a double fail because I don’t practice every day and the anxiety still hits me when I think about interviewing.

Pikachu fail (an image of a dejected yellow mouse Pokemon)

I accidentally used my knowledge of attention research to create a more powerful way to mask. Using my readers as a focal point, I created a way to dodge my feelings. Rather than trying to understand and process why my anxiety existed and what it was. Ops.

Using attentional cues to create strategies to complete tasks is not a bad thing. It works for small things but not for something as challenging as finding a new job. (An image of a person with a white mask holding up an index finger in a shushing manner)

🦄Strategies

• I’ll go in-depth next week on the strategy. Here’s a sneak peek of it though:

  • Ground

  • Conduct

  • Give

✨Conclusion

Emotional regulation is at the heart of being able to live the life you want. The attentional challenges you face are the tip of the iceberg of the ADHD glacier that resides in your brain. Unfortunately, because it’s the part everyone sees, we all think attention is the crux of ADHD. Shit, the word attention is in the name of the disorder.

Reframing emotions over attention has opened new doors for me and my coaching clients on how to harness their ADHD. Two of my clients got job offers this week because they learned to be empowered by their emotions. They became aware of their feelings/needs and conducted them to focus on their desired actions. It’s inspiring to watch. I hope to get a job for myself soon too.

🐼Talk to me about your challenges

⏭️Next Week

Part 2 of attention and focus. A deep dive into the Ground, Conduct, and Give framework.

A wheel with 10 domains of executive function: organization, attention and focus, impulse control, time-keeping, planning and prioritization, self-monitoring, working memory, flexible thinking, emotional control, task initiation.