#124🧭 First Steps After Diagnosis: What to Do About Work

You don’t need to tell anyone right away

Welcome to Tech Atypically 👋, your weekly blog for navigating the challenges of ADHD and being in the tech industry.

I am an ADHD and product management coach, helping you change one belief and take one action each week.

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🦋 The Takeaways

Belief: Now that I’m diagnosed, I need to tell my manager immediately.

Reality: You need to understand your situation before taking action.

Action: Read your employee handbook, understand what accommodations exist, and assess your manager’s temperament before deciding your next move.

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Part 3 of the Things I Wished I Knew Sooner Series

⭐️ Introduction

Welcome back to Things I Wished I Knew Sooner. Over the past two issues, I’ve talked about what led me to get diagnosed and what the diagnosis experience itself was like.

Today, I want to tackle what happens next: You’ve just been diagnosed with ADHD as an adult. You’re in your tech job. Now what?

I sat down with my fellow Tech Atypically coaches Rupert Dallas and Michael Asaku-Yeboah to discuss this exact question. What we discovered is that the pressure to “do something” immediately with your diagnosis can actually work against you.

Because of my ADHD, I’m persistent like a dandelion. Can’t stop, won’t stop, talking about how to make things better for neurodivergent people.

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😵‍💫 The Belief - I Need to Tell My Manager Now

When you get diagnosed as an adult, there’s this immediate urge to act. You finally have an explanation for why certain things have been hard. You want to tell your manager, get accommodations, make everything better.

Once I had the diagnosis, I thought I needed to disclose immediately. The diagnosis felt like both an explanation and a solution. Surely if I just told my manager, they’d understand, and we could fix everything that had been difficult.

The tech industry talks about neurodiversity awareness and inclusion. Companies send emails about disability resources. HR has accommodation processes. It feels like disclosure should be safe—even expected.

And there’s a certain logic to it: if you have a medical condition, you tell your employer so they can support you. If you broke your leg, you’d tell your manager you need time off or a different desk setup. Why should ADHD be any different?

Plus, the diagnosis is fresh. You’re processing years of struggles that finally make sense. You might feel relieved, validated, maybe even excited to have language for what you’ve been experiencing. That emotional momentum can push you toward immediate disclosure.

But there’s a gap between company policy and your experience with your specific manager, on your specific team. And that gap can be dangerous.

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🤝 The Reality - Slow Down and Gather Information

Here’s what I wish someone had told me: your diagnosis doesn’t obligate you to do anything immediately.

Getting diagnosed is about gaining language to understand yourself. What you do with that information at work is a separate decision that requires strategy.

Rupert puts it bluntly: “You need to understand what kind of company you work for and the kind of manager you have before you put yourself in a vulnerable place.”

The disclosure dilemma is real. Michael shared something that caught me off guard: “A lot of times those who mask end up getting in trouble and then wishing they disclosed. They get put on performance management, and then they raise their hand and say, ‘Hey, I have this disability.’ But the trust has already been broken.” It’s too late.

So you’re stuck: disclose early and risk stigma, or mask until you burn out and end up on a PIP without protection.

But there’s a third option: gather information first.

Before making any decisions, understand three things:

1. What’s actually available to you?

Your employee handbook outlines what accommodations exist (hopefully, but not always). Some companies make assistive technologies readily available—noise-canceling headphones, transcription tools, AI writing assistants—without requiring disclosure.

Michael explains: “A lot of companies are moving to that because it’s cheaper and saves legal headaches. They know a lot of people who do great work happen to be neurodivergent.” Some may even offer ADHD coaching through an EAP provider like Modern Health or Spring Health.

2. What’s the actual problem you’re trying to solve?

Map your diagnosis to your essential job functions. Are you actually struggling with something specific? For some things, you can get your own assistive technology. For others, you need to frame it as a business problem.

3. What’s your manager’s temperament? (a.k.a how much can you trust your manager?)

Company policy doesn’t matter if your specific manager isn’t receptive.

Rupert’s advice: “Get to know your manager’s temperament before asking for an accommodation so you know whether it needs to be an official capital A accommodation, or it can be a little a accommodation.”

Capital A vs. little a accommodations:

• Capital A: Legal, ADA-protected accommodations requiring disclosure

• Little a: Informal requests without legal protections (”It’s noisy, can I get headphones?”)

Many problems can be solved with little a accommodations that don’t require disclosing your diagnosis.

One of the best managers I’ve ever had also has ADHD. We had a trust in each other that made me look forward to working with them each day.

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🛠️ The Action - Your Three-Step Information Gathering Process

Step 1: Read your employee handbook

I know. You have ADHD. You’re not reading that thing. Copy it into Claude or ChatGPT and ask: “What accommodations are available? What’s the process? What’s considered reasonable?”

Step 2: Understand what you actually need

List your essential job functions. Which are you struggling with? Which struggles are ADHD-related?

Then ask: What’s within my control?

• Can I get my own transcription tool?

• Can I use AI for writing assistance?

• Can I change my work hours without asking?

Only escalate what you genuinely can’t solve yourself.

Step 3: Assess your manager

Questions to consider:

• Have they been supportive when team members asked for flexibility?

• Do they focus on outcomes or micromanage processes?

• Have they shown openness to different work styles?

If unsure, start with informal requests.

A framework for deciding:

Michael: “How long can you endure masking? If there’s nothing you can do on your own and the barrier is glaring, your best bet is to disclose early. You’re going to hit performance management anyway. Get protection before the problem becomes a performance issue.”

But if you can manage with your own tools and informal accommodations, you may not need to disclose at all.

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✨ Conclusion

The most important thing I learned: diagnosis is about gaining language, not creating obligations.

You don’t owe anyone an explanation of your neurodivergence. You don’t need to disclose immediately just because you have a label now.

Take time to understand your situation. Gather information. Make strategic decisions based on your specific context—not on urgency or pressure to “do the right thing.”

Your diagnosis is yours. What you do with it at work should be a calculated decision, not a reflex.

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