#105📋 The Requirements Trap: Why Job Descriptions Lie (And How to Read Between the Lines)

Why Smart People Disqualify Themselves Before They Even Apply

Welcome to Tech Atypically 👋, your weekly blog for navigating the challenges of ADHD and being in the tech industry.

I am an ADHD and product management coach, helping you change one belief and take one action each week.

🐼Do you work in Tech and are tired of struggling? Get ADHD and job skill coaching with Tech Atypically.

Part 4 of the Inclusive Performance Series

🦋The Takeaways

Belief: I need to meet every requirement before applying.
Reality: Job descriptions are copy-pasted fiction.
Action: Read for connection, not checklists.

⭐️Introduction

Welcome to Part 4 of our Inclusive Performance Coaching series, where I explore how to make coaching accessible and effective for people with and without neurodivergence at work.

This week, I'm diving into something that stops many of us before we even get to the interview stage: the tyranny of job requirements.

To tackle this subject, I’ve brought in my friend Melissa Taney, a former Amazon Bar Raiser and Director of Analytics, about why qualified people don't apply for jobs they could obtain. If you've ever looked at a job posting and thought, "I only have 4 out of 5 requirements, so I can’t or shouldn’t apply," this one's for you.

In today’s talk, we talk about how to overcome the anxiety of what you’re missing by focusing on what you want.

Stop telling yourself that things you want are conditional on you meeting things that you are missing.

😵‍💫The Belief - I Should Meet Every Requirement

I see this often with my coaching clients. They come to me saying they need to find a new job, then immediately launch into everything they're missing: "I don't know SQL, I don't know AI, I don't know LLMs. I didn’t learn product management the ‘traditional’ way” (I don’t know anyone that has).

For neurodivergent folks, especially, we tend to read job requirements very literally. If it says "Must have 5 years of experience with X," we think: "I only have 4 years and 11 months. I'm not qualified."

The underlying belief is that companies carefully craft these requirements and expect every single one to be met. If you don't check every box, you're wasting everyone's time by applying.

This literal interpretation keeps us from applying to roles where we could thrive. Melissa points out, "People disqualifying themselves by not applying is a huge reason people don't get into their dream jobs or break into tech - they already feel like, well, I'm not good enough, and they then don't even try."

You’re not alone if you’ve gone through this. Adults with ADHD in one study were shown to earn less and have a higher rate of underemployment than neurotypicals. The struggle is real.

🤝The Reality - Context Is Everything and Job Descriptions Are Fiction

The reality is that job descriptions rarely reflect what the hiring manager is looking for. They’re seen as a task to get out of the way, not a thoughtful vision of their needs.

"Most people don't know how common it is to just copy and paste a job description," Melissa explained. "Every hiring manager, including myself, has copied and pasted a job description from somewhere else. They spend less time writing job descriptions than most people will guess."

Let me repeat that: Hiring managers spend less time writing job descriptions than you spend agonizing over whether you meet the requirements.

The reality is that job descriptions are often:

• Copy-pasted from similar roles

• Written by HR, not the hiring manager

• Written by others on the team who may or may not know what’s needed

• Inflated with "nice to haves" presented as "must haves"

• Disconnected from what the role requires day-to-day

Most of the time, job descriptions don't align with the actual job. Unfortunately, you won't know until you talk to a real human or a hiring manager. So, how do you increase your chances of talking to a human? Focus on your connection with the company or job over your checklist of shortcomings.

I’m not old enough to have written a resume on a typewriter, but I have written school assignments on them before.

🛠️The Action - Shift from Checklist to Connection

Based on my conversation with Melissa and my work with clients, here's how to navigate the requirements trap:

1. Start with job filter criteria, not job requirements

Before you even look at job postings, focus on what you can control. Instead of trying to match their requirements, use job descriptions to identify what you want in your next role.

I work with clients to reverse engineer the process: find language from job descriptions that resonates with you and create your ideal job criteria. Get clear on your non-negotiables:

• How much money do you want to make?

• Where do you want to live?

• What skills do you want to use daily?

• What kind of impact do you want to have?

Here's an example filter I’ve used before:

• Remote first

• At least 15 product managers in the company

• B2B or B2C Health Tech company

• Open to customer-facing or platform product management

I also use Ravi Mehta’s guide to product management to help clients map out their "shape" as a PM- things like voice of the customer, stakeholder management, data analytics, and feature delivery. This helps them identify their core strengths and growth areas.

For example, I know I'm "a voice of the customer product manager who also excels at data literacy." Where I need to grow is leadership and stakeholder management. So I look for roles that value customer insight and data skills, with opportunities to develop leadership.

Using this filter, I can better identify jobs I connect with emotionally and experience-wise, increasing my chances of getting a human conversation when I apply.

2. Read job descriptions as connection opportunities, not checklists

When you find a role that excites you, ask yourself:

• Does this role energize me when I read it?

• Can I see myself doing this work daily?

• Do I have 60-70% of what they're looking for?

• Are there 2-3 requirements that genuinely matter for success?

If you answered yes to any of those, try applying. The exercise of tailoring your resume and applying helps you further develop your story and what you’re looking for, regardless of the application outcome.

3. Focus on transferable skills over exact matches

Melissa shared a perfect example: "I work with many clients in the data field, and they are often surprised to learn they are qualified for more roles than they were targeting. Titles like data science, business intelligence, and data engineering can be ambiguous or even deceiving. Job seekers may avoid these roles because they have a preconceived notion of what these jobs require based on badly written job postings, while insiders know the truth."

Instead of thinking "I don't have AI experience," ask:

• What problem are they trying to solve with AI?

• Have I solved similar problems with different tools?

• What skills transfer from my experience?

Sometimes you're curious enough to say, “hey, what are you looking for?”, which can lead you to uncover what they need that aligns with your gifts.

For example, after being curious, you learn a company’s bigger problem is that we don't know how to wrangle striped unicorns.

“Oh, cool, I happen to know how to wrangle striped unicorns (because ADHD). Is it OK that I don't know SQL because the job description mentions it?”

“Yeah, we don't care” or “Sure, you can learn that on the job".

In other words, be brave enough to find out if the mountain you see is a mountain or a molehill.

4. Tailor your application to show connection, not just qualifications

Once you find a role that resonates, tailor your resume to their language. Use the job description's terminology to describe your experience. This isn't lying - it's translation. Even if the job description doesn’t match up, if it helps you talk to a human, you’ll be able to get closer to what the truth of the rule says.

When you get a recruiting response that says, "You're exactly what we've been looking for," you know you've reduced the likelihood of masking in interviews. You'll feel seen for who you are.

5. Look for inclusive language in job postings

For employers reading this: help candidates self-select appropriately by adding language like:

• "If you have 3 out of 5 of these skills, let's talk."

• "We're looking for someone who excels in most of these areas".

• "Don't let impostor syndrome stop you from applying".

This simple addition can dramatically increase applications from qualified candidates who might otherwise self-select out.

✨Conclusion

The requirements trap keeps talented people from accessing opportunities that could transform their careers. When you shift from checklist thinking to connection thinking, you open up possibilities you never knew existed.

As Melissa put it: "You could be missing a whole job market" by being too title-focused or requirements-focused instead of skills-focused.

Job descriptions are often hastily copied and pasted fiction. Your lived experience, transferable skills, and genuine excitement for the role? That's real. And that's what smart hiring managers care about.

The next time you see a job posting that makes you think "I'm not qualified," remember: you might be more qualified than the person who copy-pasted that job description.

---

Melissa Taney is a former Amazon Bar Raiser and Director of Analytics who is currently writing a book to help people in tech nail their interviews. If you have stories about times you didn't apply because of job requirements, or are willing to share your most memorable positive and negative interview experiences, she'd love to hear from you. Share your story in the comments below or submit one to her form. She’ll reach out if you do.

Have you fallen into the requirements trap? What helped you realize you were more qualified than you thought? Share your experience in the comments or reach out directly—your story might help others facing similar challenges.

---

⏭️Next Week

I’ll most likely be off next week for vacation, or I may have an ADHD impulse to write. We’ll find out next week.